|Stage Name||The Blessed Contessa|
|Located||New York City, NYC|
|Fields||Business owner, acrobat, actress|
Contessa has a large range of abilities that included aerial silk acrobatics and fire breathing/swallowing, as well as her trademark consumption of human flesh. She was as eccentric as the rest of the cast (though she often denied being insane) and a fan favorite, as she was often the one to spill tea and throw cookies into the audience while the rest of the girls were off stage.
Contessa joined the Bloody Crumpets in 2008 with Captain Maggot and Little Miss Sugarless, all of them having been involved in the Lucent Dossier experience and familiar with one another. She became the Asylum's resident cannibal, a young woman who lead the movement of "Contessology," which all of her fans had to follow.
Her unique performances on stage included both fire breathing and aerial dancing. Her aerial routines took place during the song 306, and later, Take the Pill. At one concert, she suddenly and randomly improvised a silk routine at the end of Let the Record Show. During Dead is the New Alive and We Want Them Young, Contessa also demonstrated her abilities in fire breathing and handling alongside Captain Maggot's fire dancing.
Contessa is perhaps one of the most in-depth and detailed stage characters for the concerts, as most other Crumpets have not released their character's backstories to the public and fans can only compare them to character's from Emilie Autumn's novel, The Asylum for Wayward Victorian Girls. You can see her published backstory from her blog below.
Contessa's Origins and BackstoryEdit
- First, something we all know and love to review….I am not insane!I have very good reasons for all that has happened in my lifetime and why it’s landed me in an Asylum for Wayward Victorian Girls. I’m sure as you read, you will agree, that all of the actions taken from that fateful day were indeed committed fully realized and sane.
- Although I don’t wish to recall life before the Asylum, I think it important that we share what brought us all together.
- There was a wedding day that was to be the beginning of a new life, a new era, a new freedom. I was from a good sounding family that gave me excellent standing and an estate to start my new life with a new husband. What greater thing can come under attack, than love. I was blinded by the streams of independence I saw in my future, and forgot to pay attention that it was not me my husband loved, but the money I came with.
- So, there it was. The day of reckoning when a contract would forever bind me and meld my independence to this man. The morning was shrouded in scents of jasmine and lace, and whispers of romance steaming from hot pools. Thank graciousness that a window had been left ajar where I was privy to a pre-festive chat. My soon to be husband was quietly planning my demise following the ceremony with the carriage driver. A tragic ending that would set the hearts of our guests weeping into the night. My body was to roll into a deep ravine and set the stage for a newly widowed husband to take over all accounts, estates, and treasurey[sic] that my marriage to him would provide.
- My rage was slow and fixed. I became stealthy and focused as my body went into action without it’s[sic] friend, thought. Nothing was plotted or planned, just executed, with a grace that still makes me smile to this day. Moments before the flutes were to escort me down a murderous aisle, I asked for a favor from family and staff to give me and my soon to be husband a few moments alone in our chambers before the ceremony. As soon as I was sure he was giving the finishing touches to his wedding whiskers, I was at the entrance to his room twisting the lock on his scheme.
- Lamp oil was accidentally brushed over the lavish rugs and curtains by the swiftness of my movements as I prepared an alternate ending. It took no more than a half of a match switch for the wine soaked curtains to jump into flames. The estate took to brilliant russets and reds in a matter of minutes. Not only was it the flammable materials that made the estate catch so quick, but my rage fueled the licking flames even beyond what I thought I was capable of.
- The guests were too busy with their sparkling drinks and frivolity to notice a delay in ceremony. Thank goodness for a roaring party to distract the innocent. Although, I must say the roar of celebrations only let me enjoy the celebrating I was partaking in myself. I do admit I was in a state of fluidity that didn’t allow me to think twice or judge any action I was taking. I simply let it unfold in the moments that passed, until I was satisfied with the safety of my being. What happens next, I’m only told in retospect[sic], for I don’t remember it myself.
- One of my dear childhood chums came to hurry the wedding couple along, and as she crested the hill that seperated[sic] the estate from it water valley a blood curtling[sic] scream sent me into a state of black out in which I remember nothing from that point on.
- I like to imagine how the following events unfolded although I don’t retain these thoughts as my own. After the house and the husband were charred blacker than licorice, my body was drawn to the freshly cooked flesh and I began to chew away at the husband that was to be. When the proper authorities arrived, they found me working on the rounded hip flesh and retrieved an earlobe and fingertip from my pockets. The photograph that was taken of me that day, certainly shows a black gritted grin in which I must confess, I look extremely guilty. I was committed under the terms of arseny[sic] and cannibalistic terror. My future in the Asylum did not seem so terrible in comparison to living a life of chained matrimony in which I would have mysteriously disappeared.
- So here I sit with my memories of charred revenge and the salvating[sic] stories they inserted into my files, and I’m resilient to say one more time, because wouldn’t you have done the same…I am not INSANE!!
In fall 2012, Contessa posted the following status to her Facebook account, stating that she would not participate in future Emilie Autumn tours and thanking the Plague Rats for their support thus far. The update was posted just two days before the South American FLAG tour.
After a weekend dedicated to the grateful game, I wanted to take time to share with everyone that I will be giving my full performing attention to other avenues. I will be missing from the upcoming EA tours and wanted to inform you before hand. Thank you Thank You THANK YOU Thank you Thank you thankyou thxu for your amazing energy and delight over these years. Performing for you all, has been an excelerated life altering experience, and I'm excited to share that again with you through different experiences. There are many tricks up these cannibal's sleeves and the possibilities ahead are tickling and flirting closely with the future. I will miss this particular experience with you deeply and want you to know my spirit never leaves any stage floor my feet have touched, no arms of any embrace, no genuine connection made. Thank you for being an incredible reflection of inspiration and support. It is time to transform, and ignite into the new, and I look forward to you all being there to laugh, blush, and giggle to a new Contessa adventure.
"There was once just one Contessa, but that didn't seem like enough"
Forever nibbling your fingers and toes, especially when your not looking~ ConTesSA!!!!!
curtsy, kisses and nibbles...
Contessa later confirmed that her departure would in fact be permanent in an interview with the fan-run blog She Fights Like A Girl, stating, "This is a long-term parting from the Emilie Autumn Tour. Of course I’ll be gracing stages again, but different ones. I can’t stay away from the stage to long, it is home, it is my natural state of being. If I could build a mini stage in my house I'd probably sleep there instead of a bed." In that same interview, Contessa also divulged her reasoning behind her resignation from the group, explaining that touring took up much of her time and energy, and made it difficult for her to retain other commitments.
Contessa's career with the Crumpets appears to have ended on a good note, as she still actively responds to comments from Plague Rats and re-posts photos of her, Emilie, and the Crumpets from her touring days, speaking fondly of the others and her experiences with them.
Personal Life and CareerEdit
Contessa moved from Ohio to New York City in 2012. For about a year, she was housemates with Veronica Varlow. For some time, Contessa was in a relationship with author Blue Christian Winterhawk.
She owns an online Etsy store, ContessaCreate, where she sells her own beauty products and jewelry that she manufactures herself.
She is still touring with the Lucent Dossier circus group, and appeared alongside Captain Maggot and YouTube star Hannah Jinx as a Woe-Maiden in the film The Devil's Carnival.
- The stage characters of Contessa and Captain Maggot were in a relationship with each other, with a "marriage" ceremony between the two being held at one concert. The two were therefore collectively referred to as "Magtessa," and they would jokingly call each other "wife" offstage.
- Her favorite kinds of tea are mate, cacao puerh, and white tea.
- Of all the countries Contessa visited while touring with Emilie, she has said that Latvia was her favorite, claiming to have a "deep connection" with the city and that she often experiences a strong urge to return, though she is "not sure why."
- Despite Contessa joining the Crumpets prior to the publication of The Asylum for Wayward Victorian Girls, her stage character was not based on a character from the book and instead hailed entirely from her own imagination. No character inspired by Contessa appears in the book.
- She improvised the "Contessa" character, claiming that her acceptance into the Crumpets was "very instantaneous" and that she had very little time to come up with a persona or back-story. She asked herself the question "My name is Contessa and I’ve been in an Asylum for year…why?" and continued from there until "Contessa"'s character had been fully established.
- The name "Contessa" had been decided upon before she joined the Crumpets, as she has created other characters in the past that were named Contessa as well.
- Ever since her pre-teen years, Contessa has had an obsessive habit of biting her fingers that she has attempted multiple times in vain to break. It is possible that she gained the inspiration for her catchphrase "nibbling on fingers and toes" from this.
- She signs off an all her blog posts with, "From somewhere inside a puddle, Contessa."
- She jokingly admits to having an "aversion to wearing pants," which began after she left the tour bus one day and had mistakenly forgotten to put a pair of pants over the tights she was wearing. Enjoying the feeling of liberation it provided her, she took it on as a personal challenge each to day to "come up with outfits that didn’t incorporate pants."
- ↑ ContessaCreate - History and facts concerning our dear Contessa https://contessacreate.wordpress.com/2010/12/31/history-and-facts-concerning-our-dear-contessa/
- ↑ She Fights Like A Girl - An Interview with the Blessed Contessa https://shefightslikeagirl.tumblr.com/post/41301630114/an-interview-with-the-blessed-contessa-contessa